11 November 2006
I took this picture two days ago (excuse the blurriness, please). Jamal hadn't been feeling well, so I spent most of the day lying on the floor with him, while I read a submission on my laptop. That evening, we took him to the vet to see what was wrong, and when we left, Jamal was no longer with us. Spend more time on the floor with your dog. Because you never know.
The vet said he had multiple tumours. A large one in his belly, and many smaller ones in places like his lungs. Who knows how long they'd been there. He seemed fine until Sunday; maybe a little bit slower and quick to tire, but at nearly twelve, that's to be expected for a dog his size. What a trooper.
Poor old dog. We got him when I was thirteen; he was the dog I'd been asking for for years. We saw his litter at the humane society -- they were strays, and the people working there had guessed he was a malamute/golden retriever cross, but I'm pretty sure they didn't predict he'd grow to be 110lbs. He was a naughty puppy, but smart, and he eventually became a very good dog, and still smart.
It's been another one of Those Weeks. Good things, bad things; happy times, sad times; just a lot going on. I'm glad to be busy so I don't have to dwell on losing Jamal, but I wish everything would straighten itself out, all the phone calls could make themselves, and the forms could come pre-signed. But eventually things will settle down, and it will have all been worth it.
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I'll go have a little lay-down with my dog now.
posted by Kim at November 11, 2006 02:50 AM
Oh Anna I'm so sorry.
xo
posted by scout at November 11, 2006 02:52 AM
:-(
posted by Laura at November 11, 2006 04:18 AM
I'm so sorry Anna.
posted by myra at November 11, 2006 04:34 AM
i am so sorry too, i am glad you were home. will give my dog an extra hug tonight.
posted by stephanie s at November 11, 2006 05:23 AM
Oh, I'm so sorry you lost your friend. I'm going to go lay down with my doggie for a while.
posted by joyce at November 11, 2006 05:39 AM
i'm sorry anna. he was such a good dog. I can just imagine that he and Bailey are frolicking together somewhere... :::Hugs:::
posted by mo at November 11, 2006 07:13 AM
I'm so sorry too ...
posted by Christelle at November 11, 2006 09:33 AM
so sorry to read about your dog. i've been hating mine a bit lately, but i'm going to go give her some love right now.
posted by meg at November 11, 2006 10:48 AM
A good dog is better than anything, even when naughty... one of my beloved beasts passed a while ago and those "naughty" moments are the ones I often remember the most fondly now!
posted by lia at November 11, 2006 12:06 PM
Farewell Jamal. That's a beautiful photo. I hope the whirlwind around you settles gently soon.
posted by ~~Melissa at November 11, 2006 01:55 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. My 14 year old dog also has tumors (lung and liver) and I will be devastated when he's gone. Jamal was a lucky boy to have been so loved by you and your family - and you all were lucky to have been loved by him. It sounds like you have a lot of fond memories of your sweet dog... savor them and take care of yourself...
posted by kelly at November 11, 2006 04:50 PM
Oh, I'm so sorry about Jamal, Anna. I don't like how things start moving so fast when you're a grown-up.
posted by Jessie at November 11, 2006 07:40 PM
I'm sorry, Anna...losing a dog is heartbreaking. You keep seeing them out of the corner of your eye, but gradually you'll be able to remember all the funny/silly/wonderful things that he did over the years. Hang in there. He's chasing squirrels in the great dog park in the sky.
posted by Kate at November 11, 2006 07:48 PM
oh, Anna...my heart hurts reading this post. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet. I am thinking healing thoughts for you and your family.
posted by Joy at November 11, 2006 08:00 PM
I'm so glad you had the chance to lie on the floor with Jamal. That's a wonderful time to have had together.
posted by Pamela at November 12, 2006 01:38 AM
I am so sorry for your loss...
posted by Chara Michele at November 12, 2006 03:39 AM
anna--i lost two dogs three years ago {within 9 months of each other} and it was so hard. one from tumors. my heart goes out to you. love, lisa
posted by at November 12, 2006 03:56 AM
Jamal looks like a fine and noble fellow. He will know he was much loved.
posted by Karen at November 12, 2006 12:50 PM
I hate it when someone loses their best furry friend! My dog will turn ten in a few months, and I often think about how he won't always be there for me. I know you'll be missing Jamal for a very long time.
posted by Leslie at November 13, 2006 12:30 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. He looks like a lovely dog. I think the picture is great, even with the blurriness.
posted by craftydabbler at November 13, 2006 04:20 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have a 14 year old Lab mix that I raised from 3 days old. I don't even want to think of that day when she's gone. So sorry. ((((Hugs))))
posted by Mitchypoo at November 13, 2006 06:43 PM
Delurking to say how sorry I am. I have a very similar dog story and it sure isn't an easy thing. Big hugs to you!
posted by Ani at November 13, 2006 06:47 PM
Hi Anna - I haven't been by in a while. What a sad post to return on. Jamal sounds like a dog in a million. I am glad you had the chance to have some time with him as I see you have returned to America. I hope you settle down quickly and happily - here's to the next chapter of your life.
posted by Cherry at November 13, 2006 09:30 PM
Sorry to hear about Jamal. He was a fun puppy. I still have the comics you drew about him.
posted by Lora at November 14, 2006 12:38 AM
You are being so strong; so much braver than I was. I recently lost my baby (the cat I'd had for about the same number of years) to the same sort of thing (he seemed just fine, but wasn't really eating very often, ended up he had a huge tumor that had pushed all his organs together, it was awful). It's been a few weeks, and I still haven't gone back to the vet to get his carrier; we left it there when we came in to help put him to sleep. If you need to just write something down, anything, everything, I suggest it. It hurts, but somehow knowing it's someplace other than your head, where it can get lost, it helps a little. The best thing someone told me was that she knew that wherever he was now, he knew he was loved, and still loved.
posted by Ren at November 14, 2006 03:36 AM
there's nothing sweeter than a big dog. i'm so sorry, so so sorry. i'm glad you spent laying down time with him. that time will comfort you.
posted by colleen at November 14, 2006 02:04 PM
I've lost mY dog last friday and it is such a terrible loss. Funny the ending of your post is much the same as mine was... http://mijkimproves.blogspot.com/2006/11/best-dog-of-world-has-died-today.html#links
posted by mijk at November 14, 2006 03:33 PM
I'm so sorry about Jamal. I can totally understand the relief at being busy at a time like this. I would want it to be very much the same way I think. It's wonderful that you got to spend the day with him. You'll never forget that. And neither will he.
posted by Cherry Menlove at November 14, 2006 10:45 PM
Oh no. I'm so sorry to hear this Anna. xoxo
posted by Alicia P. at November 15, 2006 02:25 AM
I am so so sorry for your loss. Losing a beloved pet is always such a hard & heartbreaking thing to deal with. Hang in there. My chihuahua is sitting on my lap as I read & type this. You reminded me to treasure the moments like this. Take care of yourself!
posted by Jessica Hood at November 15, 2006 03:08 AM
Oh that's so sad. The blurriness of the photo seems appropriate somehow.
Thinking of you
posted by paola at November 15, 2006 07:08 AM
I'm sorry to hear about Jamal. I know how hard it is.
posted by Elizabeth K at November 15, 2006 04:29 PM
sorry to hear this--it is very hard, i know. we put my dog to sleep this winter because he was so sick, and it was so sad.
still have your placemat on my list. hope you're settling in well.
posted by eireann at November 17, 2006 08:02 AM
I'm so, so sorry, Anna. You totally have me in tears right now. I know how difficult it is, and I'm just glad to hear he didn't suffer a long time. Best wishes to you...
posted by mary at November 22, 2006 06:10 PM
Oh Anna, such sad news, my heart goes out to you. I too (years ago) spent the day on the floor with my dog before the vet came. Your photo is beautiful. Much love to you x
posted by cally at November 23, 2006 02:49 AM
Ooh I'm so sorry...
posted by Elodie at November 23, 2006 10:01 AM