13 August 2006
I've been putting off saying anything, but in late October, I'll be moving back to Minnesota. Rob will not be coming with me; we are going our own ways. It seems weird to be explaining this to the internet, but there are no hard feelings between Rob and I -- we just want different things for the future.
Obviously, any break up is hard, especially when you get along as well as we do. I'll miss living together, and I'll miss taking walks and watching tv in the evening. But I've got a lot to look forward to as well, and I'm choosing to focus on that for the time being. Some good things:
- Moving into a house. I've been itching to move into a proper house for a while now, somewhere I can settle in for a number of years and which I can make my own. Highlights of being in a house in the States include finally properly taking possession of the piano my grandma passed down to me and this desk which I spotted on craigslist, and which my mother is picking up for me today.
- Working from home. Because I work for the best company in the world, I get to stay on even though I'm moving to another country. I've wanted to work from home for a while, and now I can.
- A dog. I'm going to get a canine buddy for company and (perceived) protection. I want to adopt a young dog from the humane society, and I'm very excited about it. Also, Booty the Cat might come to live with me.
It's an awfully big trade-off, of course -- getting to do all these things I want but without the person I imagined them with, but it's not really a choice we get to make. So there you go.
The strangest thing is that a few people have said to me things like, 'Well, at least you've had this opportunity to get some really good experience in publishing, and it was like an adventure.' I don't think I'm quite capturing the feeling there, but it's as though people expect me to regret moving to London to be with Rob. How could I? Why would I have any regrets about a choice that fulfilled a long-standing dream to live in the UK, that changed my ways of thinking and being, that introduced me to great friends, and that allowed me to live with one of the best people I know? I'm only sad it's coming to an end; the choice was still the right one.
p.s. -- I also meant to say: I'm going to need new friends. Any totally awesome crafty folks living in the Twin Cities?
What a great attitude you have - quite an inspiration, as I too contemplate moving from the UK to the USA.
posted by at August 13, 2006 05:21 PM
I am so sorry things didn't turn out, but you sound like you are looking forward. Well Done! When you choose your canine buddy, can I put in a good word for the older fellows - they are often sadder to be there than the younger dogs, believing themselves to be human after all! Also they come ready house trained and often very well trained in other ways too. Just a thought!!
posted by Cherry at August 13, 2006 05:56 PM
those are certainly big changes, but as you said, as long as there are no regrets, everything else doesn't matter ... and you have such good things to look forward to, that it seems you've certainly done all the right choices (and I'm glad that Booty the cat might be going too :)
posted by Tania Ho at August 13, 2006 07:29 PM
anna- i have only recently found you, and I am so sad to see you go, since I just moved to the UK from the US! Like ships passing in the night...
I wish you all the luck in the world with everything that you do, it sounds like you've got some good plans in the works, and I'm excited to read the new chapters in your life. It's an inspiration to hear that you live you life with no regrets and no apologies. Bravo!
posted by joy at August 13, 2006 07:34 PM
I can't say I know you well, I only discovered your blog this summer, but I certainly wish you all the best and good luck with your new life!
posted by Strikkelise at August 13, 2006 07:42 PM
well dear anna. i am sorry to hear about you and rob, but i am sure that all will be lovely for you when you return to the united states. your mother has labeled me "your adopted sister" so since i live in the cities now, alone, and you will be in the cities, we must ertainly frolic sometime soon. even better news is that i love crafting and would love to craft with you. i know of a few gorgeous shops of which you might enjoy. much love and luck.
~elyse
posted by elyse-krista at August 13, 2006 11:15 PM
sometimes, life is hard. but it is what you do with it that makes it worth living. best of luck in your new city.
posted by stephanie s at August 14, 2006 12:26 AM
Anna, so sorry to hear about your break up. Best wishes for you and your move.
posted by myra at August 14, 2006 08:57 AM
I've only just discovered your blog and love it - hope you will continue it when you leave London. Looking out at the cruddy weather we're having today, I think nature is in sympathy with you...
posted by Flibbertygibbet at August 14, 2006 09:02 AM
All the best to both of you--I know the future holds bright things. xoxo...
posted by Laura at August 14, 2006 12:20 PM
You have an incredible outlook and new adventures to be had – it is unhealthy to live with regrets anyway – we take something away from every phase of our life that shapes us for the better! Congrats on your new start and may your heart heal quickly…
posted by jen at August 14, 2006 02:24 PM
I would move to the Twin Cities in a heartbeat. It's so beautiful there. Heck, I might move for the desk in that picture alone!
;)
My sole serious regret (which isn't so serious that it pains me frequently--it's just a hazy dream from the past) is that I didn't get to live in the UK. It took me two tries to get into my graduate school. I was wait-listed the first time and I started preparations to move far, far away while I worked on a Master's in English instead of grad school and the next year, presto chango, grad school.
And no UK.
So, I'm your opposite. Have a wonderful, safe move.
posted by Heels at August 14, 2006 08:45 PM
i'm totally awesome, and i'm fairly new to the Cities, and i like to think i'm crafty. i'm so sorry about your breakup. i think minneapolis would be a great place to mend a mind.
posted by beth at August 14, 2006 10:38 PM
Greetings from a stranger. Hope all goes well.
posted by hehrimnbryn at August 15, 2006 04:48 AM
So sorry to hear of your relationship ending and thanks for being brave and letting us know. It is strange isn't it? I get teary everytime I read sad things on my fav blogs. You all mean the world to me. Best of luck with the move and I am sure with the blog world the way it is you will have a new bunch of friends ready and waiting for you. However, I was under the impression that all crafty americans lived in Portland? :-)
posted by Miss Dot at August 15, 2006 07:40 AM
It must be very hard, but you sound so strong. What about the birdies? Will they be relocating?
My thoughts are with you through this tough time. Time will pass and you will feel better. The US awaits your return.
Mary-Ellen
posted by Mary-Ellen at August 15, 2006 04:37 PM
I'm in Minneapolis! When are you due to arrive? I leave to live in France in September, but will gladly give you information or meet up if you'd like! (It sounds like maybe you are from MN anyway?)
posted by eireann at August 15, 2006 11:28 PM
good for you, my dear. you are brave and i look forward to following your move.
posted by lisa at August 15, 2006 11:51 PM
ohhh- i'm sorry!
but it seems like you are also exited so thats good.
all the best!
good luck-
:)
posted by tania at August 16, 2006 07:48 PM
Dear sweetie ! All my thoughts are for you and also all my wishes for you to have a wonderful new life full of happy creating, joy, and love :) Best luck for you honey and I'll pray for you ! Enormous smmoches from Belgium :)
posted by Sandrine (alias Didine ♥ ) at August 16, 2006 08:25 PM
Oh Anna, I'm so sorry to read this. London will miss you VERY much.
posted by Paola at August 17, 2006 03:49 PM
I only live three-ish hours away and visit the cities frequently. When I lived there, I found it hard to make friends. It was really clique-y. Hopefully, you'll do better than I! Especially because it sounds as tho you are from the area to begin with.
I'm sorry to hear about your relationship, but such things happen. The important thing is to hold on to what you learned, because you seem fantastic to me!
posted by Sarah at August 17, 2006 05:39 PM
Just discovered your site recently and love it! Sorry to hear about the split...but it sounds like you definitely have the right attitude about things. I live in the Twin Cities (although I'm on brief hiatus in DC) and try to squeeze in as much crafting as possible between grad school and my on-going job hunt. I would love to meet up sometime...there are some neat little craftshops in town.
posted by sara at August 17, 2006 08:32 PM
From a lurker who reads often, and rarely comments, I wish you the best of luck over the next few months. Big life changes are hard, but exciting, and I've lived vicariously through your blog seeing that I've always wanted to live in the UK, and may never actually do so.
However. And I think you're from the twin cities originally, right? so this isn't a big strange move, but I have to say, I *love* Minneapolis.
I'm from Boston, and my husband spent his high school years in Eden Prairie, and when he took me there for the first time a few years ago, I was just blown away with how happy and friendly the people are, how metropolitan Minneapolis is, and what a great place it seems to live. In fact, there's a really good chance we'll end up there in the next five years, because we both love it.
Anyway, a good place filled with good people seems like a perfect place to start the next chapter of your life. Good luck and I hope you keep on with your lovely prints.
posted by Jackie at August 17, 2006 09:02 PM
making the right choice is rarely easy. you seem to be in a good place and at peace with your decision with lots of wonderful exciting life plans in front of you.
posted by rebecca at August 18, 2006 04:44 AM
Anna,
Just found you today through Angry Chicken. I have a great circle of crafty friends in Mpls/St. Paul. And a house recently went on the market on my block...
link
Ok, it might be a lot of pressure on us both for you to choose a house because it's near a stranger who crafts. I really just wanted to wish you all the best in your move back. Let me know when you're in town if you'd like to meet for coffee or something.
I'm off to Crafty Planet this morning for a class in making a needle roll to get my dpn's under control.
posted by Auntly H at August 19, 2006 01:53 PM
Sorry to hear your relationship is coming to an end but sometimes changes are good. I know i've had a lot of changes this year some bad but some very good. Embrace the changes and enjoy them.
posted by nichola at August 27, 2006 12:41 AM
It's often astounding what people will say when presented with what they consider uncomfortable information. Most of the time I think the instinct is to want to make the person with the sad/bad/uncomfortable news feel better. Their efforts often fall short of the mark though.
Transitions are a funny thing. They hold both an ending and a beginning. Endings are often sad. Beginnings are often full of hope. Those and all the other emotional possibilites can make for a bit of a rough ride. Or not. The only certain thing is that transitions don't last forever. Good luck riding the wave of yours.
There are plenty of crafty folks here in the Twin Cities and I'm sure many of us would like to befriend someone as talented as you. Just put out the call once your back and there will be people to answer, I'm sure.
posted by Sarah at September 7, 2006 02:34 AM
It's often astounding what people will say when presented with what they consider uncomfortable information. Most of the time I think the instinct is to want to make the person with the sad/bad/uncomfortable news feel better. Their efforts often fall short of the mark though.
Transitions are a funny thing. They hold both an ending and a beginning. Endings are often sad. Beginnings are often full of hope. Those and all the other emotional possibilites can make for a bit of a rough ride. Or not. The only certain thing is that transitions don't last forever. Good luck riding the wave of yours.
There are plenty of crafty folks here in the Twin Cities and I'm sure many of us would like to befriend someone as talented as you. Just put out the call once your back and there will be people to answer, I'm sure.
posted by Sarah at September 7, 2006 02:35 AM
OMG! You are leaving us, the things I miss by not reading blogs. How sad for us. How half sad for you (re Rob) but so lovely that you have house and animal plans that are so positive an happy to look forward to.
It's aboput 8 yrs since I broke up with Mr.P. Love him to bits, but we didn't want the same things. And I have to say being best friends is much nicer. Lots of hte good bits stay but you have space for a whole new life (and love) ahead.
I hope you are handling all the change ok, these things have such impact, even when they happen gently.
I bet you'll get a ton of crafty pals when you move. Let me know if you make one last trip to Scotland before going (or any other time after) cause it'd be lovely to see you again.
Cally xxx
posted by cally at September 20, 2006 04:16 PM