Oh, this one. Her tongue cannot be contained lately. I’m so glad you can see her tongue in some of our portraits, as it’s become her ‘thing’ for this age. As you can see, she’s sitting up on her own now. Two days ago, she could only manage 5-10 seconds at a time, and then yesterday, when I took these photos, she suddenly was able to go about a minute. And today, she was even better, playing for minutes on end without needing me to catch her. I still wouldn’t plop her on a blanket and walk away, but I’m impressed with how quickly she’s fine-tuning those stabilizing muscles and learning not to quickly lean to one side. She started insisting on being sat upright when she was about two months old, and I predicted that she’d be sitting on her own by six months. I mean, I think that’s a pretty common age, but it’s still amazing that, hey, she can sit up now.
A while back, I commented to somebody that it feels like M and I are the same person, and that the process of her growing up will be her splitting away. I’m surprised I don’t hear this sort of feeling mentioned more often, because it’s SO strong for me. I was thinking about something the other day, something that had happened when I was pregnant or before that, even, and this thought popped into my head: ‘Oh, that was when I was still only one person.’ As though, without being conscious of it, my identity has come to encompass two people. It sounds kind of crazy, but it doesn’t feel unhealthy — I still feel very much like myself, the person I was before I had a baby, and I wholeheartedly look forward to M developing her own interests and passions. The closest similar sentiment I’ve heard is that Elizabeth Stone quote, ‘Making the decision to have a child — it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.’ I wish I could capture the feeling and share it with friends who haven’t had children. Not to change their minds or anything, but just because it’s such a peculiar and (I think) unique sensation. Like, it blows my mind that the same blood doesn’t flow in both our veins. How can that be?